What is anger?
Anger is a normal emotion that we all have the ability to feel and express. It is ok to feel anger. You are entitled to feel anger.
Anger can become a problem when you feel it is out of control, you are hurting yourself or others (people, property, or objects), spending time with people who get you into trouble, missing school or work, ending relationships, or engaging in problematic alcohol or drug use.
Anger is our bodies way of expressing what has happened to us in the past or present. You may feel angry in situations where you feel threatened, frightened, powerless, or that your voice is not being heard – sometimes we don’t know why we feel angry. This can be due to anxiety and stress, neglect or abuse, or something that you feel is unfair or wrong.
How might I feel?
Anger can be explosive, overwhelming, or uncontrollable. We might want to hit out, smash something up, shout, scream or maybe retreat into ourselves as the emotion is too much to cope with.
When many negative thoughts or events are happening in your life, it can be difficult to recognise the feeling as anger. Often you can feel guilt or shame after letting your anger out, which will make you feel even worse.
Managing Anger
Not having coping strategies to deal with your anger might lead to depression, isolation, eating problems, and self-harm. Drinking or using drugs to help you cope with your anger will make you feel worse and lead to further issues.
Ways to Cope
- Pay attention to your thoughts and behaviours when you’re feeling anger e.g. heart beating faster, fists clenching, feeling agitated or losing control.
- Identity what triggers your anger e.g. a certain person, situation, or place
- Talk to a teacher, mentor, trusted family member or friends to let them know how you feel. You are not alone.
Think of constructive ways to express your anger: punch a punchbag (or pillow), scream and shout, exercise your body to release the adrenaline that is building up in your blood stream, write your thoughts down, distract your body by listening to music, reading a book or playing computer games.
If you are experiencing a conflict situation (a heated argument) recognise your warning signs and walk away. This is a helpful way of dealing with your anger rather than saying or doing something that you might regret later.
Anger is a common emotion and an expression of our feelings, but if it is affecting your day-to-day life, relationships, and feels out of control, speak to a professional about getting support.
Written by Heather Shipley
For Lyfeproof UK
